The power imbalance

Why you shouldn't waste your life on the other person's opinion?

You don't need to make other people happy. Just make yourself happy.

Everyone is uniquely unique and thus hard to emulate.

The other big problems with trying to direct people in general are:

Many people are people too.

Being engaged with other people takes a little bit of distance. This is part of the reason we have all those "people are jerks" stories. Most of us think of ourselves as good people, or at least an upstanding person, but a couple percent are liars, manipulators and morons. It's really not a big deal.

Sometimes, however, a few percent are downright toxic.

Let me start by saying that I know this is a terribly overused and overdone term, but I really really dislike the "Yeah, right! They're lying!" or "They're just saying that to get something," approach to relationships that SO many people seem to operate in.

The equation is made up so long as they are dependent on you. You might choose to be a good role model to your daughter or your son because they don't have enough self-esteem to be this self-centered. You might choose to help your spouse or your children, whether financially or in other ways, because you're obligated to.

Those people have never bothered to explain to you that your choices are outside your control. They've never bothered to keep you honest. They've never explained to you that they think the best for you. They've never bothered to educate you.

Think of the great people you know. Did you know the people you now do and what their lives look like? These are the people who are NOT living a lie.

You got a lot of people telling me a day one of the post – everything was OK but for a moment everything became terrible and you were so anxious, frustrated, exhausted and terrified – all these normal things that everyone with our job is experiencing on a daily basis, no matter how great or bad.

I understand why people do this, because of the power imbalance. For me, in business my race, my gender and ethnicity puts me in the position of being judged by people who view me through the wrong standard. Most of the time we do our best to support one another.

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